LAUGH OUT LOUD

Bloopers, people making mistakes, and of course we would never laugh at their expense, right? Or would we….
From the Yeovil, England, Western Gazette: "The first swallow has arrived at Devizes. It was spotted by Police Constable John Cooke, of Seend, whose hobby is bird watching, sitting wet and bedraggled on telephone wires." (How does that constable do that while he’s all wet, I tried it and fell off three times?)
Classified ad: Man wanted to work in dynamite factory; must be willing to travel. (How far up?)
From the Tulsa, Oklahoma, World: "It is permissible to spank a child if one has a definite end in view." (Always keep your eyes open!)
The Harrah, Oklahoma, News ran an article about the Folderol String Band, which was to entertain at a barbecue. The story explained, "These true sons of the Southwest have twanged their music all over Oklahoma and have been asked more than once to leave the state." (And don’t come back!!)
Society note in the Denver, Colorado, Rocky Mountain News: "She looked like the belle of a court ball with the gown and her hair piled high on her head." (Someone should tell her that the dress goes lower)
Sign spotted in Jacksonville, Florida: Pool is open 24 hours. Please do not enter the pool at any other time. (Like during the 25th hour?)
In a letter from a summer camp director: Dear parents: We are pleased to announce the opening of registration. We are working hard and looking forward to the ultimate bummer experience for everyone. (I think I’ve been to that camp)
A classic of its kind was this sign in an army mess hall in Britain. Printed in big black letters across the exit, it read: Kindly Let Those Who Are Going Out First.
That sentence drove us crazy, and I thought it would never be topped. But it was, in a San Francisco bar. I overheard a guy who was being pestered to death by a frightful bore snap, "If you don't get out of here and leave me alone, I'll find somebody who can!" (So there, if that didn't make you laugh I’ll find someone else who did.)
Did you have a good laugh? These are all things that I found, and no I was not in a bar, really!