How to install a home security system...
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and your NRA magazines.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads: "Hey Bubba, Jim Bob, Duke and Slim, I went for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls - they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside till I get home."
Billy
I guess this is one way to secure a house. Jesus said in Matthew 12:29-30 “Or how can someone enter a strong man's house and plunder his goods, unless he first binds the strong man? Then indeed he may plunder his house. 30 Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters.” (ESV)
We need to make sure that Jesus is Lord and Master of our house, our physical and our spiritual house. We need to make sure that we are working to gather with Him, gather the lost by telling them about Jesus, gathering together with other believers, doing God’s work. Right after this Jesus said, “For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. 35 The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil. 36 I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, 37 for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” Matthew 12:34-37 (ESV) Let’s make sure of our deeds and our words.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
reFuge
Greeting Church Family!!! For the past 6 weeks on Wednesday nights we have been talking to our students about purity in all areas of their life. This month we are taking 9 students to Dallas for a Saturday night conference, which hits on purity and then in the middle of the month we are wanting to do a purity ceremony with our students. Please be in prayer, as this decision to remain pure for teenagers isn't one that is easy to keep or one to be taken lightly. We have an amazing group of kids, and know that these will be incredible events!! Thank you for your prayer!! Amy & Zach
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
THE STRESS DIET
Do you ever find your self under a lot of stress? Well if you do, I have found a diet that is supposed to take the stress away, try it, I’m sure it works.
THE STRESS DIET
BREAKFAST
½ grapefruit
1 slice of whole wheat toast
8 oz skim milk
LUNCH
4 oz lean broiled chicken breast
1 cup steamed zucchini
1 Oreo cookie
Herb tea
MID AFTERNOON SNACK
Rest of package of Oreos
1 quart of Rocky Road ice cream
1 jar Hot fudge
DINNER
2 loaves garlic bread
Large pepperoni & mushroom pizza
Large pitcher of Coke
3 Milky Way candy bars – Snickers (optional)
Entire frozen cheesecake eaten directly from the freezer
Now I’m not too sure that this diet would work for me because I don’t like grapefruit...or cheesecake. OK, maybe this isn’t a real diet, but this is the way that some people are with their spiritual life, they start off with good intentions, but because they don’t devote every part of their life to Christ, it becomes too difficult for them and they fall back into their old lifestyle. I know that you do great in this area of your life, right?
THE STRESS DIET
BREAKFAST
½ grapefruit
1 slice of whole wheat toast
8 oz skim milk
LUNCH
4 oz lean broiled chicken breast
1 cup steamed zucchini
1 Oreo cookie
Herb tea
MID AFTERNOON SNACK
Rest of package of Oreos
1 quart of Rocky Road ice cream
1 jar Hot fudge
DINNER
2 loaves garlic bread
Large pepperoni & mushroom pizza
Large pitcher of Coke
3 Milky Way candy bars – Snickers (optional)
Entire frozen cheesecake eaten directly from the freezer
Now I’m not too sure that this diet would work for me because I don’t like grapefruit...or cheesecake. OK, maybe this isn’t a real diet, but this is the way that some people are with their spiritual life, they start off with good intentions, but because they don’t devote every part of their life to Christ, it becomes too difficult for them and they fall back into their old lifestyle. I know that you do great in this area of your life, right?
THE CENTER OF OUR FAITH
1 CORINTHIANS 1:18-2:5
“For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. 19 For it is written, "I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and the discernment of the discerning I will thwart."
20 Where is the one who is wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world?
21 For since, in the wisdom of God, the world did not know God through wisdom, it pleased God through the folly of what we preach to save those who believe. 22 For Jews demand signs and Greeks seek wisdom, 23 but we preach Christ crucified, a stumbling block to Jews and folly to Gentiles, 24 but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. 25 For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men. 26 For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. 27 But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; 28 God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, 29 so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. 30 He is the source of your life in Christ Jesus, whom God made our wisdom and our righteousness and sanctification and redemption. 31 Therefore, as it is written, "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord."
And I, when I came to you, brothers, did not come proclaiming to you the testimony of God with lofty speech or wisdom. 2 For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. 3 And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling, 4 and my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, 5 that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.” (ESV)
A collage drama group presented a play in which one character would stand on a trapdoor and announce, “I descended into hell!” A stagehand below would then pull a rope, the trapdoor would open, and the character would plunge through. The play was well received. When the actor playing the part became ill, another actor who was much heavier took his place.
When the new actor announced, “I descended into hell!” the stagehand pulled the rope, and the actor began his plunge. But as he plunged, he became hopelessly stuck half way down. No amount of tugging on the rope could make him descend any further. One student in the balcony jumped up and yelled: “Hallelujah! Hell is full!”
Do you remember the old “Peanuts” cartoon in which Lucy says to Charlie Brown, “I would have made a great evangelist.”
Charlie Brown answers, “Is that so?” She says, “Yes, I convinced that boy in front of me in school that my religion is better than his religion.”
Charlie Brown asked, “Well, how did you do that?” And Lucy answers, “I hit him over the head with my lunchbox.”
4 Things Everyone Needs to Know About Salvation;
1. We are one in our need of Salvation.
1 Corinthians 1:18-21
“For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. 19 For it is written, "I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and the discernment of the discerning I will thwart."
20 Where is the one who is wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world?
21 For since, in the wisdom of God, the world did not know God through wisdom, it pleased God through the folly of what we preach to save those who believe.”
Romans 3:23
“for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (ESV)
2. There is just one means of Salvation.
1 Corinthians 1:22-25
“For Jews demand signs and Greeks seek wisdom, 23 but we preach Christ crucified, a stumbling block to Jews and folly to Gentiles, 24 but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. 25 For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men.”
John 3:3
“Jesus answered him, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God." (ESV)
3. There is just one way to be Saved.
John 14:6
“Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father" except through me.” (ESV)
4. There is just one Salvation. (The Cross is the center of our faith.)
1 Corinthians 2:2,
“For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified.”
2 Corinthians 5:15
“and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.” (ESV)
Robert Ingersoll was a noted infidel from the state of Illinois. He would preach all across the Midwest on subjects such as, “Why I Am So Sure There Is Not A God,” “The Mistakes Of Moses,” “Why Only A Fool Would Believe In Hell.” In turn he would build up straw men and proceed to tear them down. One night in a midwestern city after Ingersoll had supposedly exploded any possibility that there might be validity in the Christian faith, he offered a challenge to his audience. He spoke something like this, “I am aware that many Christians come to hear me speak. I would like to ask who in this audience tonight after I have spoken would still claim to be a Christian. After hearing what I said tonight, is there anybody here who will testify, ‘I still believe’?” not a soul stirred. Ingersoll put his hands on his hips and laughed uproariously. He offered the challenge the second time. “Isn’t there even one Christian here who will stand tonight and say, ‘I still believe after hearing the great Ingersoll’?” nobody responded. Again, Ingersoll laughed. He offered the challenge a third time. This time from one of the back rows of the theater two teenage girls stood and began to move out of the row and slowly down the aisle singing, “Stand up, Stand up for Jesus, ye soldiers of the cross, life high his royal banner, it must not suffer loss.” As they walked, others slipped out from their rows and followed them until ultimately almost the entire audience was standing as one great throng in front of the stage singing in Ingersoll’s face, “Stand up, Stand up for Jesus.”
Romans 9:27
“Just as man is destined to die once, and after that to face judgment”.
Luke 13:3
“But unless you repent, you too will all perish”.
Revelation 3:20
“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me”.
Acts 3:19
“Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out”.
“For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. 19 For it is written, "I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and the discernment of the discerning I will thwart."
20 Where is the one who is wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world?
21 For since, in the wisdom of God, the world did not know God through wisdom, it pleased God through the folly of what we preach to save those who believe. 22 For Jews demand signs and Greeks seek wisdom, 23 but we preach Christ crucified, a stumbling block to Jews and folly to Gentiles, 24 but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. 25 For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men. 26 For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. 27 But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; 28 God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, 29 so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. 30 He is the source of your life in Christ Jesus, whom God made our wisdom and our righteousness and sanctification and redemption. 31 Therefore, as it is written, "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord."
And I, when I came to you, brothers, did not come proclaiming to you the testimony of God with lofty speech or wisdom. 2 For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. 3 And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling, 4 and my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, 5 that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.” (ESV)
A collage drama group presented a play in which one character would stand on a trapdoor and announce, “I descended into hell!” A stagehand below would then pull a rope, the trapdoor would open, and the character would plunge through. The play was well received. When the actor playing the part became ill, another actor who was much heavier took his place.
When the new actor announced, “I descended into hell!” the stagehand pulled the rope, and the actor began his plunge. But as he plunged, he became hopelessly stuck half way down. No amount of tugging on the rope could make him descend any further. One student in the balcony jumped up and yelled: “Hallelujah! Hell is full!”
Do you remember the old “Peanuts” cartoon in which Lucy says to Charlie Brown, “I would have made a great evangelist.”
Charlie Brown answers, “Is that so?” She says, “Yes, I convinced that boy in front of me in school that my religion is better than his religion.”
Charlie Brown asked, “Well, how did you do that?” And Lucy answers, “I hit him over the head with my lunchbox.”
4 Things Everyone Needs to Know About Salvation;
1. We are one in our need of Salvation.
1 Corinthians 1:18-21
“For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. 19 For it is written, "I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and the discernment of the discerning I will thwart."
20 Where is the one who is wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world?
21 For since, in the wisdom of God, the world did not know God through wisdom, it pleased God through the folly of what we preach to save those who believe.”
Romans 3:23
“for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (ESV)
2. There is just one means of Salvation.
1 Corinthians 1:22-25
“For Jews demand signs and Greeks seek wisdom, 23 but we preach Christ crucified, a stumbling block to Jews and folly to Gentiles, 24 but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. 25 For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men.”
John 3:3
“Jesus answered him, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God." (ESV)
3. There is just one way to be Saved.
John 14:6
“Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father" except through me.” (ESV)
4. There is just one Salvation. (The Cross is the center of our faith.)
1 Corinthians 2:2,
“For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified.”
2 Corinthians 5:15
“and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.” (ESV)
Robert Ingersoll was a noted infidel from the state of Illinois. He would preach all across the Midwest on subjects such as, “Why I Am So Sure There Is Not A God,” “The Mistakes Of Moses,” “Why Only A Fool Would Believe In Hell.” In turn he would build up straw men and proceed to tear them down. One night in a midwestern city after Ingersoll had supposedly exploded any possibility that there might be validity in the Christian faith, he offered a challenge to his audience. He spoke something like this, “I am aware that many Christians come to hear me speak. I would like to ask who in this audience tonight after I have spoken would still claim to be a Christian. After hearing what I said tonight, is there anybody here who will testify, ‘I still believe’?” not a soul stirred. Ingersoll put his hands on his hips and laughed uproariously. He offered the challenge the second time. “Isn’t there even one Christian here who will stand tonight and say, ‘I still believe after hearing the great Ingersoll’?” nobody responded. Again, Ingersoll laughed. He offered the challenge a third time. This time from one of the back rows of the theater two teenage girls stood and began to move out of the row and slowly down the aisle singing, “Stand up, Stand up for Jesus, ye soldiers of the cross, life high his royal banner, it must not suffer loss.” As they walked, others slipped out from their rows and followed them until ultimately almost the entire audience was standing as one great throng in front of the stage singing in Ingersoll’s face, “Stand up, Stand up for Jesus.”
Romans 9:27
“Just as man is destined to die once, and after that to face judgment”.
Luke 13:3
“But unless you repent, you too will all perish”.
Revelation 3:20
“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me”.
Acts 3:19
“Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out”.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
LEADERS AND LAUGHS
To be a good leader you must learn how to deal with difficult people and resolve conflict constructively. And there is often more than one way to do it. Former basketball coach Bobby Knight, who is less than a stellar example of public relations, told that a few years ago when Indiana was playing Michigan State, a man sat behind his bench and heckled Knight all game long—chewed him up one side and down the other. At the end of the game, Knight turned around and said to the lady who was sitting next to the man, “Does he belong to you?” She ducked her head and said sheepishly, “Yes.” Bobby then responded, “You could do so much better than him.”
The next year when the two teams were set to play again, Knight checked on the heckler and discovered that he was an economics professor and a one-time interim president of the opposing university. Knight invited the man to visit with the team prior to the game. After the visit, Knight handed the man several pieces of candy and said, “Here, chew on this rather than me. That way we’ll both enjoy the game better.”
Remember, some people are like sandpaper, the more they rub on you, the smoother you get, and the more worn out they get.
And now, just for laughs; Bloopers...
In an Ohio paper: "The operator of the other car, charged with drunken driving, crashed into Miss Miller's rear end which was sticking out into the road."
The Harrah, Oklahoma, News ran an article about the Folderol String Band, which was to entertain at a barbecue. The story explained, "These true sons of the Southwest have twanged their music all over Oklahoma and have been asked more than once to leave the state."
From the Jacksonville, Florida, Times-Union: "The sewer-expansion project is nearing completion, but city officials are holding their breath until it is officially finished."
And finally…
Real estate ad in program of The Barn Playhouse, New London, New Hampshire: "For Sale. Business site in large city. Busy intersection with traffic light out of order. Just the right spot for doctor or lawyer."
It’s always good to laugh.
The next year when the two teams were set to play again, Knight checked on the heckler and discovered that he was an economics professor and a one-time interim president of the opposing university. Knight invited the man to visit with the team prior to the game. After the visit, Knight handed the man several pieces of candy and said, “Here, chew on this rather than me. That way we’ll both enjoy the game better.”
Remember, some people are like sandpaper, the more they rub on you, the smoother you get, and the more worn out they get.
And now, just for laughs; Bloopers...
In an Ohio paper: "The operator of the other car, charged with drunken driving, crashed into Miss Miller's rear end which was sticking out into the road."
The Harrah, Oklahoma, News ran an article about the Folderol String Band, which was to entertain at a barbecue. The story explained, "These true sons of the Southwest have twanged their music all over Oklahoma and have been asked more than once to leave the state."
From the Jacksonville, Florida, Times-Union: "The sewer-expansion project is nearing completion, but city officials are holding their breath until it is officially finished."
And finally…
Real estate ad in program of The Barn Playhouse, New London, New Hampshire: "For Sale. Business site in large city. Busy intersection with traffic light out of order. Just the right spot for doctor or lawyer."
It’s always good to laugh.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)